Conversation

And she said the world was dirty, but it was vast.

He said he was scared of what was beyond the doors he never kicked down just to see what laid behind them. Sure he'd seen things, but his existence was now age worn, finite and restricted with stipulations and fear. It was how he liked it. What he trusted. A good dose of the graspable and logical.

She laughed and said, he had to let go a little bit...

He said letting go was much too unbearable of an option when you don't know what would be catching you, for sure.

She said there is no such thing as sure, and that is where Faith takes over.

Not everyone has the ability to experience true faith, she said, it's something that you feel inside the hollows of your bones... you can not teach Faith... it's like trying to teach someone at birth how to beat their own heart... It should be involuntary.

She said, it was something that washes over you from time to time when you really open your eyes and look at the world around you. Every tree, every song, every different hue of orange the sun makes from Dawn until Dusk and how every different hue hits the simple walls of your simple home in different ways.

He said he gets so hungry, but he was scared of what it would take out of him to get fed.

She offered to him the bounty of her love, of her flesh, if he would just try... try to see the world through less corrupted eyes.

And he said she was the world, a different world then one he ever knew. He asked her to be patient.

She replied, that she had been patient... and time has been meddling with things in spite of their dreams, their hopes, their only half serious silly little plans...

And she agreed that she was the world, or at least a part of it that has been waiting for him to hurry up and join it for quite a long time now. Yet, she was a slow and crippled enough version of it for now that he could still board the adventure by taking her hand. Taking her fingers into his wounded filthy mouth...

He said he didn't know if he was ready. He thought he was broken. He thought that he needed more time.

She said there is never time, never such a thing as ready, only a now and the choices we make within it, and that there was never a broken that cannot be fixed unless the broken wished to remain so in it's obstinate frozen terror of what is the Unknown Element of Other.

He said he still had some things to lose.

She agreed, and she said he would lose more by never moving at all... then trying to move forward.

He said he had too much to lose... that he wanted to, but couldn't fully believe her.

She replied that she had plenty to lose as well as she gestured to her watch always ticking PM in the AM.

He asked again for her patience. He was trying his best.

She knew it wasn't his best... but it was something at least.

He said he didn't know if he could ever go. He wants her to be the one who walks away, but secretly he just wishes she would just... stay.

She said she feared by the time he decided to borrow the directionless maps to the adventure, she'd no longer be crippled... but healed and winged and flying.

She didn't want to tower above anyone. She didn't want to leave anyone behind, especially if they were in a permanent stasis. She also knew if she stayed she might get stuck like that forever. She Will keep moving.

He said, it's ok, I don't mind being left behind. It's safe enough here... safe enough when nothing changes but the numbers.

He said, love, you can not save the world, and he would know, wouldn't he?

And she said she dies for every damned and unmovable soul she sees, that he was supposed to be special, and that she didn't want to go, but she had to. She doesn't know a lot about life, but she knows enough to know what she'd be leaving behind, but she does believe in sacrifice... when it's attached to something that has always been bigger then herself. Something she can't quite name...

Then all at once she said for the first time, she also believed in herself.

And he smiled and he said, he always did as well.

They stood there like that for sometime...

One hoping for the other to stay, and walk backwards through decay and ancient memories... a listless antiqued life to replicate sentiments that were never meant to be immortal.

And One hoping to see the other unfold into the person they were always meant to be... fearless,
Unbridled, and
Free.

Not just another lost soul to be sent off into the burial sky with a prayer, a wish, and cheap glitter to take the place of the stars that died within... and he...

He said she'd still be the world... either way.
All the dust
All the love
All the hope
All the wrong

And just as gone.